Friday 18 March 2011

50 Cent: Blood on The Sand

'50 Cent: versus the Middle East' uses more "mother fuckers" and more "niggaz" than any other game I can think of. It even has a 'taunt' button, which allows you to fire off a "Fuck off!", or a "Fucking die, nigga!" at will. This alone makes 50 Cent worth playing. 


While performing a rap gig in the middle east somebody misplaces 10 million dollars of Fiddys money. To apologize for this the gig organizers offer Fiddy a jewell encrusted skull as compensation. This skull belongs to somebody else, who then steals it back. So, Fiddy goes on a murderous rampage across the middle east to get back the skull [that doesn't belong to him anyway].

Many middle easterners, dressed like terrorists will die over the next 5-ish hours of gameplay.

The gameplay is pretty shit. The graphics are pretty shit. The story is fucking stupid. The music is non-stop 50 Cent pumping through the speakers and the language used is over the mother fucking top at all times.. But, somehow the game is VERY fun.

See, the game has a combo meter and score system. Theres something intriguingly satisfying about running from terrorist to terrorist shooting, swearing, punching, shooting, swearing, killing, stabbing, blowing up, swearing, shooting again and stabbing some more without stopping for time to rap. The "bing bing bing" noise tallying up your blood money score is like a little voice inside your head relentlessly encouraging you to go faster and kill, stab, punch and swear just one more time. The action is broken up by awfully scripted and nonsensical cutscenes, which are just as childishly funny as the rest of the game.

We laughed a lot while playing this game. Its stupid, ignorant, childish, needlessly violent and standard at best. It has the 'so bad its good' characteristic and for this reason alone [and the swear button] I would suggest playing it.

But, dont buy it! Steal it and call the shop keeper a mother fucker while you punch and stab him in the face.

No comments:

Post a Comment