Friday, 25 March 2011

Killzone 3 [and 2]

Killzone 3.. What a fucking disappointment. No.. wait.. Let me start again.

Killzone 3.. What a fucking disappointment. Ahh shit, did it again!

Killzone 2.. What a fucking great game! With its stunning, explosive visuals and its always loud, always offensive sound design, Killzone 2 is an in your face, bite the curb, shooter. Lets get down to it..

Playing Killzone 2 is exhilarating. Every step you take makes you feel like a fucking badass in heavy armor, loaded to the teeth with weapons. Heavy weapons. Loud heavy weapons with enough fire power to kill a herd of stampeding monkeys. These monkeys are the Helghast. The British speaking, anime-nazi inspired, cheeky dicks who have the nerve to try and  protect their own damn planet from the invading ISA. Ahh, the ISA.. Loud, obnoxious, American grunts. I think the game had a story, but I wasn't paying any attention to it and if you play Killzone 2 you won't either. This game is all about shooting baddies. Every kill in Killzone 2 feels like another thunderous step towards victory. I can't express how good killing bad dudes feels in this game... but let me try... 

You feel the weight of your armor on your back as you stamp through the mud towards the broken cover in front of you. The sound of the war around you is ringing in your ears as bullets rip through the air inches from your face. *SLAM* your body smashes against the brick wall that separates you from a handful of bloodthirsty Helghast. You can hear them shouting commands to one another, trying to flank your position. You realise that you have seconds to act before your going to be riddled with enemy bullets. Its you or them.. Now, you have to act right NOW! You make your move. Your head pops out from cover and you stare the filthy bastards right in the eye. You can feel the weight of your rifle as you try to lock in on an enemies face. "fuuuuuuuuuuuuccckk...." screams the soon to be deceased anglo-nazi as you squeeze the trigger.  *BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG* your rifle fires with the force of the gods making direct contact with your foes body and recoiling up to his head. Guts and brains spill everywhere as the remaining Helghast dive for cover giving you merely seconds to recompose yourself for the next kill...

Yeah, every single kill in Killzone 2 feels just like that. Theres nothing much more to the game. But, thats all you need. Its brilliant!

Back to Killzone 3. The huge improvement over the last game is the variety of locations. The snowy mountains, the jungles, the junkyards and the battlefields. Also, the game now offers visceral and violently brutal melee combat system that feels great, if and when the fucker works properly. The big problem though is all the whiney Call of Duty wankers. Instead of spending time with Killzone 2 to get used to the controls, they spent their time on the internet crying and bitching about them. Unfortunately, they are the same idiots who will be buying Call of Duty 53 this year, which makes them the financial income for FPS game developers. Due to this Guerilla [the developer] decided to make the game more accessible for these people.. and this is probably the biggest problem with Killzone 3. It's lost its identity. Without the amazing feeling of the last game it has nothing. The graphics, set-pieces, characters, locations and style of Killzone 2 and 3 are pretty much identical. But, without the individuality and character in the controls it becomes a weak, run-of-the-mill shooter. 

So, if you want to play a ballsy shooter buy Killzone 2 because its better than Killzone 3.

1 comment:

  1. all your reviews are packed full of the type of motherfucking funny language and motherfuckers like you desreve soem praise for this motherfucking literary genius! Keep up the good work mate and it won't be too long before this little gem picks up!! i iwll do some viral advertising for you my main man!